The Questions of Forgiveness and Judgement

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One problem that I often see as a pastor is Christians who know they have messed up never really ask for forgiveness. They assume that they haven't hurt anyone, or a least only a limited few. They may ask God for forgiveness and maybe the limited few, but they never consider that their actions often have far reaching effects. Extended family, church friends, and even fellow workers may have had their lives impacted by a negative decision or action of another, but we tend to ignore their pain. We hide behind our pride and never say, "I really messed up. Please forgive me for hurting you." We simply ignore the pain we've caused others and go into denial mode. We become paranoid that others are talking about us and run for cover. We may leave the church, break fellowship with relatives, or even move to another town to escape the feelings of guilt, when all that may have been necessary is to ask for forgiveness. I believe most are willing to forgive, and don't need to know all the gory details. A simple statement of repentance and request for forgiveness is usually enough. It might go something like this, "You know, I really messed up. I know I've hurt you and I am truly sorry. I ask you to forgive me and pray for me as I walk through this difficult time."
Other times I have seen Christians try to forgive those whom have hurt them, and the forgiveness is ignored or unaccepted. The lifeline is thrown out and the sinking Christian is so overcome by guilt, pride, or whatever that they are unwilling to reach out an take hold. The Christian offering forgiveness is then in a dilemma. Do I continue to try and forgive while being ignored, or do I simply give up and move on? Unfortunately, it is usually the latter.

Concerning judgement, we are not to judge the pagan. God alone knows the heart. However, the New Testament clearly teaches that the church is to maintain a high level of accountability among those claiming to be God's children. Speaking of Christians, Jesus said "By their fruit you will recognize them." (Mat. 7:20) We are accountable to one another for the fruit we bear. We are also accountable by the life we lead. Paul speaks judgmentally toward members of the church at Corinth in 2 Cor. 12: 20-21. Also, 1 Cor. 5 speaks directly to this issue. Please take time to read it in its entirety, but Paul completes this chapter with these words "What business is it of min to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. Expel the wicked man from among you." In Acts 5, Ananias and Sapphira (both were a part of the church) were admonished by Peter for their behavior. To the young pastor, Titus, Paul warned, "Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him." (Titus 3:10)

Of course, the accountability we are to hold each other to is tempered by repentance and forgiveness. 2 Cor. 2:7-8 teaches that we must be ready to "forgive and comfort" those who repent so that they'll not be "overwhelmed by excessive sorrow" and that we should reaffirm our love for them. Galatians 1:1-2 says that when we have judged a fellow Christian, we should seek to restore them gently. In Thessalonians 5:15 Paul teaches that we should "never pay back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other."

So yes, we are to judge one another (hold one another accountable), not to our standards, but to God's. His word, the Bible is our standard of living. All of us fall short, but when we do we need to hold one another accountable: in a loving manner; striving toward forgiveness; and motivated by restoration.